On Being "Half-Catholic"

Last week I just completed my marathon of the magnificent miniseries Brideshead Revisited and during the course of the eleven-hour series, I heard one of the characters use the term "half-Catholic." Upon ruminating on this, I decided that the term could be used to describe myself....I'm too Catholic to be accepted by the mores of our secular society, but somehow despite my sincerest efforts, I'm not seen as "Catholic enough" to be accepted by many other Catholics. Thus, not being accepted by either end of society, I wind up being isolated somewhere in limbo.

I'm sure that this phenomenon happens to many Catholics who are completely faithful to the Church, but are still excluded by their communities. I tend to think that Francis and Clare were individuals who experienced this. Indeed, both Saints found that they could no longer accept the mores of their societies. However, at the same time, they didn't exactly "fit in" with their contemporaneous religious communities. For instance, even though she lived with Benedictine nuns for a time, St. Clare realized that this way of life simply was not for her. Likewise, when presented with the option of becoming a priest, Francis recognized his own unworthiness. Instead, both Saints used creative fidelity to forge their own way of following Christ. However, their initial rejection by their society must have been very frustrating for them at first...and perhaps they can comfort me and all of the rest of us who find that we are being similarly overlooked.

One thing that helped me in dealing with these feelings is an excerpt from my current reading project, St. Therese's Story of a Soul:

I understood how all the flowers He has created are beautiful, how the splendor of the rose and the whiteness of the Lily do not take away the perfume of the little violet or the delightful simplicity of the daisy. I understood that if all flowers wanted to be roses, nature would lose her springtime beauty, and the fields would no longer be decked out with little wild flowers. And so it is in the world of souls, Jesus' garden. He willed to create great souls comparable to lilies and roses, but He has created smaller ones and these must be content to be daisies or violets destined to give joy to God's glances when He looks down at His feet. Perfection consists in doing His will, in being what He wills us to be.- St. Therese of Lisieux